The face Milhouse made haunted me for years. I don’t know what it is about that grimace that branded itself upon me but… it stuck. It stuck with me for years.
Even now, I feel a certain coldness
because its based on this picture of a French man watching the Nazis march into Paris in 1940
Please memorize some “i desperately need out of this conversation because I cannot behave like a human any more” scripts. Please. I can even supply some. Let me get on my computer but, my god, there are formulaic ways to say ‘i have no ppl juice rn and you speaking to me any more will cause me to conjure vivid, beautiful images of me THROTTLING YOU" without being a giant douchebag and it worries me that you don’t know this
‘If you keep speaking to me I will lash out for reasons that are not your fault. I need a few minutes to clear my head but am not done with the conversation’ script: “hey, I am really sorry to leave all of a sudden, but I’m going to [step outside/go make myself something to drink/head to the bathroom] for a few minutes. When we come back, I’m happy to keep talking though. This is a really [interesting/important/complicated/etc] conversation, and I don’t want to just drop it.”
'Mid conversation I ran out of people energy, and I won’t be able to keep speaking constructively. I need to leave now or I will explode’ script: “Hey, I’m sorry, but it’s getting late, and I should really be going. It’s been really lovely speaking to you; we have to get together again sometime soon. But I really need to head out. I’ll talk to you later?”
‘Your opinions are bad and you should feel bad about them, but I have some reason to not tell you that. instead i want out as fast as possible from this conversation and/or to reroute it IMMEDIATELY’: “I can see why you’d think that, yeah. I get what you’re saying, but, you know, I don’t really know this topic well enough to talk about it, you know? What about [tangential, barely related thing that is safe to talk about that they also care about]?” Wait a few minutes, nod and mmhmm at some stuff, and then check your phone and go “Oh, no, it’s getting pretty late. I have to run, but I’ll talk to you later, alright?” (This one is very useful when your unfortunately unavoidable but incredibly prejudiced grandparents come around and your parents will be mad if you start screaming arguments with them over the Thanksgiving table, especially if you can reroute them into a topic of conversation that other people care about rather than running away wholesale.)
‘you are so fucking annoying. never speak to me again’ or other variants of ‘fuck off’ that you dont want to just say that way to someone you know because that is fucking mean. basically a friendship breakup script: “Listen, I think you’re a great person, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way because it’s really not personal, but I think you and I are very different people, with very different interests. That’s not a bad thing, but I don’t think that you would enjoy spending much time with me, and vice versa. I wish you the best, but I’d rather we just stay acquaintances, alright?” (Don’t do this unless you absolutely mean it, but it’s good to know what to say when you mean it.)
i can do more but i can’t think of any off the top of my head, but even in miserable interactions with people you still have to know how to treat people with courtesy and be a little polite. there are many reasons you could want to know how to tell someone to fuck off impolitely, but those are easier; if you want to try and be cognizant of other people’s feelings while still making your point it’s, you know. hard. hopefully these are helpful
This is incredibly useful, op, thank you!
“No human contact. And if you interact, your life is on contract. Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker. It’s just one of those days.”
